Am I The Worst Person In The World?
A few days ago, I watched the movie The Worst Person in the World, which is very popular lately. The Worst Person in the World is the last movie of Joachim Trier’s Oslo Trilogy. Renate Reinsve has won the Best Actress Award at Cannes Film Festival 2021 with this movie. You can read comments and rate the movie on IMDB or Rotten Tomatoes. Well, for me it’s definitely one of those movies that I rarely give a 10 rating. I haven’t watched the other two movies in the trilogy yet, but this movie touched my soul…
There are some movies for me, movies where I feel like a character right there in the movie while watching it, or movies that make me feel like I met someone in a bar and that person is telling me a part of their life. The Worst Person in the World was exactly such a movie. It was as if I had met the main character Julie and she had told me a part of her life in all honesty. When the effect of the movie on me was so great, I wanted to write it out of the need to express my feelings. Now, without spoilers as much as I can, let’s talk a little bit about what this excellent movie made me think about. I am not looking for an answer here, because I know that we all have different answers. But I hope that maybe I can help you ask some questions you haven’t asked yourself before.
We are all sculptors of our own lives. We are trying to shape ourselves and our lives. The roles we have, what we do in life, what we want and don’t want, what we like, what we don’t like, what we do, and what we don’t draw the boundaries that determine who we are. We’re all trying to be “something” in life. Student, writer, mother, friend, lover, child and countless other social identities that I can’t list all here. Think about the first question, when you meet someone, “Where are you from? What is your job? Are you single or in a relationship?” Nobody asks someone they’ve just met, “What do you really want in life?”. At least no one has asked me until now. 🙂 Well, have you ever asked yourself this question, “Is this “me” image I had, while gaining all these identities real me? If I had a chance to be something without trying to be something, would I still have these identities?” I think Julie’s constant self-seeking, trying to find what she really wants to do in life, was reflected us in an incredibly successful way. I thought about all these a lot while watching and after.
At one point in the movie, we see this line, “He felt like the worst person in the world, but he couldn’t resist”. That got me thinking, I think there are times when we all feel this way, the moments when we realize that we can’t breathe in the shape we try to fit into and see how fake we look in that picture we created for ourselves. Well, have we ever thought about this, what if we really are that person and it’s okay to be that kind of person? What if there is nothing wrong sometimes to feel like the worst person in the world? What if that shape we try to give ourselves is not reflecting the real us? This article is not a self-improvement thing, like accepting yourself as you are, etc. That’s not my goal. But I believe that somewhere inside each of us there is a hidden “real me” that has managed to escape from all influences. No matter how much we try to shape ourselves according to certain judgments, the real me is still there. And I think at the point we see it and accept it is where we come a little closer to understanding what we are in life.
Contrary to what we believe, the “self” we are trying to shape is not made of marble. In fact, in some religions, it is believed that human was created from soil. At this point, I’m thinking, that maybe we shaped wrong some corners of ourselves. We wanted it to be that way, but we realized later that it would be better if it wasn’t. As I said, we’re not made of marble, we can change what doesn’t make us happy, doesn’t suit us, and doesn’t make us who we are. Ceramic artists always consider the possibility of deformity when they make an object. But they always know that soil is harmonious and compassionate, and it’s never too late for anything when you want to reshape it.
Do not worry, you are not alone with your existential issues. I am asking these questions myself every night while looking at the ceiling. 🙂 If you like the movie as much as I like it, share your comments!
Plus, if you like reading about movies, check out our another article here.